How do you get your kids to listen to general conference? Maybe don't ask us!

We are Mormon. This means every 6 months we have to think of new ways of getting our rowdy boys  to at least pretend to pay attention to General Conference . For those of you who don't know, General conference is broadcasted from SLC and the leaders of our church give awesome talks on various subjects of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I remember longing for conference and I still look forward to it.... but lets be honest, we haven't really heard a complete conference address since our first baby was born nearly seven years ago. We try our best, but we have yet to find the thing that will allow us to listen, and our kids to get something out of it. I know there are  parents out there that have it down. In fact, just this morning, I stopped by my friends house and her 10 year old proudly showed me the "conference folder" she made. It was labeled conference and was complete with tabs for her note taking. I was very impressed!! But let's  just say we are not there yet. We land somewhere between color the pictures of the subjects as you hear them and conference bingo. Reverent? No! Get anything out of it? Doubt it! But we are trying...I mean really trying! I'm sure just today there was probably some amazing talk patting parents on the back for their efforts. It was no doubt inspiring and felt like a big spirit filled hug telling us we were on the right path. However if such talk was given we missed it. Especially since today we were not diligent in our conference "kid prep" and all of a sudden conference had started and we had no bingo pages or coloring pages printed out. Not wanting to interrupt conference to print something, we went with a new game. We had them listen for a word....every time they heard a word of mine or Daniel's choosing they'd get a skittle. We started with the words like "tithing," "Jesus Christ," "Church," and "Journal,." By the end we were letting it slide to forms of words, tithe, tithing, Lord, Savior, what have you. At one point Von pointed out the Book of Mormon was indeed a "journal" written by the prophets so we rewarded his deductive skills and a skittle was given. It was not quiet...but boy were they excited about the talks. Well except for the talk given by the sweet man from Zimbabwe. They could not understand a word he said. There were literally tears shed! "I can't understand what he is saying!!"  "We don't know what his words mean!" "Why can't I understand him? I'm not going to get any skittles!!" This went on the entire talk....I did understand him but thanks to the weeping and wailing I could not, for the life of me, tell you what his talk was about!! Aside from this one hiccup my kids really were  excited about the talks. They were even asking when the next conference starts!! A stranger coming across the scene may have labeled it inappropriate and too loud,  I however am gonna mark it up as a success. One down 3 more to go!!

I have a cousin who diligently did family prayer and scripture study EVERY MORNING. As a college age girl I had the chance to stay at there house a couple weeks and see the whole thing play out first had.  Morning after morning, before school,  her husband would call all 8 kids up stairs. He loudly sang some sort of morning song "oh what a beautiful morning....." or "good morning, good morning..." as he played the piano,.  He then called  each child by name until one by one they all stumbled upstairs. It took them a while to come up and when they did half  of them were still bundled up in their blankets still pretty much asleep. They'd wake up long enough to read their verses and then immediately go back to sleep. I remember her saying "they are sleeping under the spirit!" I thought of them today as we sat trying to hear what was going on.  We caught  maybe  a third of what was being said between the, "They said JESUS," or,  "I heard the word!" or "BINGO!" But at least we turned it on! And maybe, just maybe, our kids will get something from that.

For those of you who want to tune in and see what I missed  you can catch it at  www.lds.org

 

Things I have said to my boys this week!

 

 

Everybody has had those moments of "did I just say that?" It happens to me quite frequently so I decided to make a quick list of things that have actually come out of my mouth to my kiddos with in the last few days. Here we go.....

*Get your hand out of your butt!

 

*Yes son, you can paint your nails...just don't get it on the new rug!!

 

*Get off that rug w/ that pizza....yes, you can eat it on the couch (turns out once there is a newer furnishing the rule for the last new item is out the window. Thanks to the new rug the old "no eating on the couch" rule ...gone.)

 

*No, you CAN NOT fly even with that creature power disc!

 

*I will take you to chuck-e-cheese if you DO NOT do the fundraiser!!

 

*I will go on line and find you the lame fundraiser prize pen filled with bubble gum if you DO NOT do the fundraiser

 

*Why is there toothpaste in your hair?

 

*Why is there toothpaste on the mirror?

 

*Why is there toothpaste on your brother.

 

*Don't eat the book!"

 

*Don't spit on your brother!"

 

*Don't walk on your brother!"

 

*That is my laundry hamper not a fort!

 

*This is my bed, not a trampoline!

 

*No, I am going to the GROCERY store NOT to buy you a skylander guy.

 

*No, the $3 you have will not buy a skylander.

 

*Yes, you can use my glue gun and markers to make a train out of old boxes. 

 

*STOP pulling your baby brother in your homemade rickety train..

 

*NOOOOOOO!!! DON'T LET GO!!! THE BABY CAN'T WALK  YET!!!

 

*No, The baby can't eat your popcorn

 

*Get your toes out of the baby's mouth

 

*Why is the WHOLE roll of toilet paper in the toilet?

 

*No, you can't ride your bike down the steep hill, through the trees, in the forest!

 

*Sit on your hands!

 

*NO, I don't think  if you leave the flower, you made out of construction paper, outside that the bees will come pollinate it.

 

*We pee in the bathroom not on the trees...I mean the house is RIGHT THERE!

 

*You can not wear your Ben 10 pajamas to school!

 

*Do you have underwear on?

 

*Put some on!! YES!!! Even though you are already dressed!!

 

*NO MORE TALKING TIL YOU ARE COMPLETELY DRESSED! 

 

*NO MORE TALKING TIL YOU HAVE FINISHED EATING!

 

*NO MORE TALKING TIL YOU CAN SPEAK NICELY TO EACH OTHER!

 

*I don't really believe that you are sick but "just pretending to not be sick." In fact you running around like a mad man actually confirms my theory that you are  TOTALLY FINE!

 

*You are not staying home tomorrow unless you have a fever along with your  throwing up! ya know since you can gag yourself on anything! And okay, I'll admit, it is pretty impressive for a 6 yr old.... How very super model of you!

 

*Don't hold the dog by it's neck!!

 

*NO!! Your room is not clean!! Picking up a path of toys from the door to the bed and leaving the rest does not a clean room make!

 

*No, chips are not healthy!

 

*No, ice cream is not healthy!

 

*You can NOT have cookies for breakfast.

 

*Okay fine....eat a bowl of cereal and then you can have a cookie!  

 

*Is that pee or water?

 

*Thank you for my flower.  And why yes I will wear this flower weed in my hair, and probably forget and end up running errands w/ it in my hair....all day....all over town!

 

*Oh yes I do want stickers on my face! And yes I will probably go visit w/ the neighbor I don't know that well who will never tell me it's there!

 

*YOU SERIOUSLY WILL NOT BE ABLE TO FLY IF YOU JUMP OFF DADDY'S TRUCK!! YOU WILL DIE!! DO NOT DO IT!!!

These are a few I could think of on the spot. I'm sure there are many many  more.....maybe there will be a part two. Please comment with your favorite things you've said to your kids! I'd love to hear!!

Fine

Tonight we were out at our fire pit when my first grader informs me that a girl in his class was burned by fire. I asked where it burned her. He said "all over her body!" He has a pretty vivid imagination so I did some fact checking. when I said, "are you sure?" he said he was!  He said he even asked her if she was burnt by fire and she said yes! I asked if you can tell...if there are scars from the burn and he said there are! He then proceeded to described what her skin looked like.  When I realized he was not making it up I said, "oh that breaks my heart!" to which he responded a little mockingly, "why? she's fine!" he was kind of laughing  at me for feeling any sympathy for her at all.

I was thinking about the all the horrible things she'd face in life. Not looking like everybody else. The mean kids at school who would make fun of her scarred skin.  I was aching for the pain she felt from the burn, and the pain her family felt watching her endure that pain. All these adult thoughts and feelings came flooding through my mind. then in an instance my sweet 6 year old set me straight with a simple, "she's fine!"

Von doesn't see any imperfections in her....he just sees his friend. His class mate that has a cool story. She laughs, and plays with her friends, she goes to school, she is an ordinary kid...."she's fine!"

so.... here's the question of the day!  I started thinking about my first impression of others and wondered....."How do  we perceive people?" When does that innocence end? When do we start, not only noticing other peoples differences, but judging them for them!. When do we become afraid to sit next to somebody in pain and ask "what happened?" instead of trying to avoid eye contact.  When did we start worrying more about the opinion of strangers and our exterior than what's inside. And why do the sounding off of an ignorant few hold more power over us then the positive voices and  validation from those who love us and know what we have to offer this world!

Next time we see somebody that's different from us I hope we remember this! I hope we  see what we did as kids. Other people that our just like us with cool stories and a unique twist on life!!
He's right, she is fine! She is a happy healthy 6 year old enjoying life! She apparently lived through something horrible and is still smiling. She has already had to learn to rise above adversity, how to make the best of a situation. She probably has an appreciation for her life at 6 that most of us will never have. She knows the gift she was given just by being here. Thanks Von for the reminder!

The Middled

So you know the show "The Middle?" I'm a little fuzzy on all the details.....but the episode went something like this. Frankie can't go to a school meeting. She makes her husband go in her place.  She then gives him strict instructions about having to sit on the front row so he can be the first one to the sign up sheets.  She said he HAD to in order to get her on one of the better committees, instead of something like cleaning committee . She also insists that he uses a ball point pen, not pencil. She says if he writes in pencil the other moms would erase her name and take her spot. I watched the episode and thought it was funny.....but I remember thinking who would erase somebody's name? How tacky!!  If they got  to the sign up sheet before you they deserve to have first choice.   It's common decency, right? Well...... last year I go to my son's preschool open house. When we walk in we are instructed to sign up for 2 snack days and a holiday party. I got there early enough that the sign up sheet was mostly empty. This allowed me the luxury of putting  some real thought into the whole thing. If I sign up for snack right after a pay day I won't be nickel and diming it when it comes to my turn. Maybe I'm the only one in the world who thinks this way, but I want to bring the good snacks! I don't want to be the mom who phones it in. You know....the  one who brings $1 cookies from dollar store because she's  already blown her food budget for the month. If you have never been there I want you to teach me a thing or two about budgeting :)! Anyway,  I find my perfect days and pick the Halloween party for my party. I do realize that decision is slightly risky since they do have my application on file at the Baptist school. And it does ask my religion and it does say "Mormon." Now please understand....I don't know where this started, but  In religious mythology it is said that  the Baptists do not think Mormons are Christian. You hear whisperings on the street.....and these voices are constantly in the back of my head. I mean, I am a Christian, and I have yet to have a Baptist run up to me on the street and question this...or tell me that I am going to Hell....but you do worry. What if one faulty sign up decision alters the entire school's view of  my sweet child? Oh the pressure!! After much debate I decide it's their school having a party on  the pagan holiday, so I go for it. Halloween it is.... over say Easter.  I know the fun that can be had at a Halloween party. It's a pinterest lovers dream! Oh and bonus....it's a pay day!! My selection process is complete. I sign the sheets  and  jot down my days on my welcome folder. Not wanting to be the mom that forgets snack day I take a moment to put the dates in my phone as well. I am set!!

A few months later I get a phone call. It's Micah's teacher informing me that I never signed up for snacks so she put me down for the upcoming week. No, it wasn't the day after a pay day, and it was a week after Christmas (talk about blown budget!) But that wasn't the part that mattered. I was "The Middled!" Somebody erased my name and took my awesome days! Yes, it was indeed written in pencil! But those were my days!!  I got there first!!! I couldn't believe it!! Who does that? Now, not only do I have to race to the store to have decent snacks for the next day, but I also look like the flakey mom who tried to slink by with out signing up! Nice!

So moral of the story is this. We just got back from this years open house. Once again  I chose my days carefully!   But this time I am wiser. I am a follower of  Frankie's sound advice!  I sign up in INK!! Crazy parent is gonna have to use white out to take my place this go around! And as for the class party? This year they pre-assigned them. What did they give the Mormon girl who picked Halloween as her party of Choice? Easter. Well played Baptist school! Well played!!